Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
