The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
