im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
