I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Two words: nipple clamps
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