I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
