isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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