I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
bring money and cleavage
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
