i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i believe in u and ur pee
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