and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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