Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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