i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
