So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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