a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
