His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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