So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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