I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
