I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
