Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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