I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
