everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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