420 ftw
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
