I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
