My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We just shotgunned beers for America
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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