Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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