More tranny stories later!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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