Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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