Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
