Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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