my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
