gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
