I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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