Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
