i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
