Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
