Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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