Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
