guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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