do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
