are you still at the devil's house?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
