About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
