No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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