I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
