The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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