I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
