I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
