I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Randomize
