I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
