She announced her abortion via fbk
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
