theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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