i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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