don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
