You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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