His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
